On The Road: Episode 6: The Cheeto Bombatron

This edition is broken into three parts after the intro. We have Ben’s pain, My Cheetos of Destiny and Bombatron (it's sweeping the nation)

Today stared out a little laid back because it was very over cast. I slept till about 9 then I went to this Restaurant that has free wi-fi (wireless internet). I had a great Southern breakfast some great service. I think I will go back tomorrow. I have found that the people out here are very nice. You could say that they are the nicest hicks out there. Just kidding, there are nicer hicks. No that’s too mean. The people out here are lovely and I could not be more impressed with their hospitality and good graces. Did I mention that today is bombatron day? Did I mention the results of the Cheeto Urine? Read on to find out more…

First, the eventful happenings of the Amour moving. To set the stage, this Amour weighs a ton. It took 5 guys to get it into the truck. Ben and I got to do it on our lonesome. We got it off the truck without too much of a problem. Going down is always easier than going up. We got into the house, piece of cake. Not as bad as we were originally planning. Then we started up the narrow stairs. The Amour cleared the path by 3 inches on each side, so we thought we were golden. Golden is a word to never be used in these situations. See golden implies that we were on our way to a prosperous run with the Amour of death. Not so much. We get the Amour half way up the stairs and Ben slips. He is on top while I am poised like the Greek god Atlas. I have the Amour on my shoulders and my biceps and triceps are screaming. Ben quickly regains control, just in time for my quads to start singing their lovely tune of protest. When the Amour dropped, the door opened up and got caught on the wall/banister. We have no way of seeing this, for the afore mentioned positioning. I start to shake while Ben is trying to figure out what to do. We finally see the door and fix it then start moving up. We are both exhausted at this point. So we decide to just push forward as hard as we can and forget about taking it slow. Well, I pushed with my godlike quads and when we reached the pinnacle of the struggle of epic proportions I ended up pinning Ben up against the wall at the top of the stairs. That would be bad enough, but let’s face it; life is only funny if people really get hurt. I ended up pinning him right in the testicular region. I couldn’t help but laugh at the sound Ben made. There is only one way to describe the sound. Have you ever seen the old Goofy cartoons when he is skiing and falls down the mountain? He makes that “yahoooooooo” sound that sounds a little like a cry for help and a yodel mixed together. Ben did a perfect impression of that sound. I start laughing not knowing that his manhood is in deep peril. We get him loose and he cries for about 10 mins then we finish the job. We did what took 5 grown men to do. It did take us about 30 mins to make a walk that takes a little less than a min to do free handed. It was spectacular. It took a little more than 2 hours for our muscles to stop shaking.

The Cheetos of Destiny.

I made a promise that I would attempt something that Ben was able to accomplish at a very young age. He was able to consume the larger portion of a family value sized bag of Cheetos and it turned his urine orange. So hearing this story, all I heard was a challenge. I consumed a bag of Cheetos in a somewhat timely manner. I put a lot of effort into this. I have to admit defeat in the fact that my urine was not orange. I had a stomachache but no orange urine. Instead my urine had a hint of green. Not kidding. It hasn’t been that way since that one time, but if there are any nurses out there could you let me know if that is some thing to be concerned about. I have to be honest; right now I am getting a little concernicus.

Bombatron is Sweeping the Nation.

I am tired of all the Children of the world miss using the word bomb, or the bomb digity, bombdizzle. I mean these are all very lame ways of expressing yourself. So I have come up with a new word for us all to use. When something is so great that we can’t hardly contain ourselves the phrase we say is “That was so Bombatron” pronounced Bomb-a-tron. This is going to take over the world. I have made it a point to share this with you so that you may be apart of the first surge. It is important to join a cause at the beginning so that you aren’t called a ban Wagoner. Right angel fans. Any who, the reality is that Bombatron will be bigger than ever when the Transformer movie hits the box office. WHICH IS GOING TO BE AWESOME!!!!!! The best 4th of July ever.