Things We've Come to See

A couple of nights ago I had this epiphany. I was thinking of the people that I use to value more than life itself. There is the family (a given), the Dodgers (of course), then there are the relationships with people we have come to forget. In high school they always say that you'll never talk to these people again so don't worry about impressing them. I look back on my life and see all the time and effort i spent on trying to impress the the crowd, and i grow sadden by the lost time I had with those who matter most. All the time I spent smoking pot (years ago) could have been spent doing something with my family, or God. I wasted my life, as Piper would say, to experience the world. So let's reflect on what we missed.

I entered into my Sophmore year at a new school. I was attending Brethren Christian High School, but the campus moved. So onto to Marina I went. I transitioned there with a buddy of mine named Justin Barney. He lived right around the corner from me and we had become pretty close friends. We went to the new school, but I didn't make the same friends as he did. He played soccer and new people from various other activities but I had to find friends the old fashioned way. Begging. Just kidding. I tried hard to find people I could connect with but it was so different at Marina than any other school I had attended. oddly enough the folks who welcomed me in with open arms were the drug dealers. At this point in time I never done any kind of drug. So I wasn't buying it from them is all I'm trying to say. But it was a sad commentary for me to realize that the nicest and most accepting people on campus weren't the Christians or Mormons, it was the drug dealer in my Life Science class.

we became friends because i had no one else to talk to during weight lifting. My buddy John was busy flirting with anything lacking male genitalia, so i was left in the dust. You can't blame him, we were in our prime. The girls needed flirting with. So we became friends and I realized that I needed to move schools. Instead of trying to coltivate relationships with in the peramiters of the Christian club, I decided to just not try. I started with-drawing from family and friends.

I ended up transfering to Los Alamitos High School. I went there because i thought it would just be different. The only thing that was different was the fact that they had designer drugs. Who knew Gucci has a brand of Crack. Again, the people that I ended up talking to were the pot heads and coke fiends. I spent a lot of my time trying to get into their click. I changed the way I talked dressed. I bought music i didn't like, and I tried drugs for the first time just so i would be invited places.

After entering into this world drugs I realized my life was really shallow. I couldn't see the fact that I would be much happier spending time with family and growing closer to them. not that I think I chould be best friends with my parents, but I think I would have enjoyed more time at home than I did. All this world chasing didn't make high school fun. In fact I hated high school. I hated the shallow depths of people. For the most part there are only two things that high schooler care about. sex and drugs. Everything else compliments those. Choose your drug. wheither it be vanity, pride, attention, alcohol, weed, or black ball herion they all serve to honor ones self. I realize now that I spent the majority of my time seeking myself rather than God.

Everytime I do that the result is the same. Dis-satisfied, lonely, depressed, and really awkward social interactions. The idea that athiletes don't do drugs is ridiculous. the idea that the drugies are just unmotivated in life is too. The smartes people i know are druggies. The biggest druggies and partiers are athiletes. Go to any high school kegger. You will find more jocks than anybody else there. I am just saying it isn't a personality flaw. All these people are looking for something. It isn't the high. It isn't the release of pressure. It is the sence of belonging. Looking back I see God is calling all of these people to belong to Him. We don't see it or recognize it, but it's true. You wonder why so many Calvary chapel pastors are ex-druggies, it's because God designed us to be apart of something and we will do anythhing to be apart of something. When God calls us out of sin, He calls us to fulfill our place in life. We were designed to be apart of something.

This was one big ramble so let me try to connect all these things together for you. Instead of doing what the world says, or your parents, or your teachers, or your pastors, spend time seeking out what God has for you. Stop asking everyone else what you should do. It's embarrassing to think about it, but I spent more time seeking people out than asking God and I knew what God wanted and what He was saying. I wasted my life. But not anymore. God has shown me what I need to do. What is He telling you?